Hello everyone! I hope you’ve all had a lovely weekend. It’s started to get darker in the mornings now, and it looks like winter’s well and truly on its way. So, to hopefully brighten up your morning, here’s some news to remedy any of those Monday Blues you might be having:
World’s biggest swede grown
And I don’t mean like a really tall Ulrika Johnsson, but the vegetable variety. Ironically, this one probably weighs more though! This massive vegetable came in at a whopping 43.6kg, winning the giant vegetable championships in Rhondda, Wales this week. The proud gardener in question, a 70-year-old Mr Beale, apparently also holds records for gigantic beetroots and carrots. What a hero.
Labrador and orphaned squirrel make best friends
How cute is this? According to The Metro, this loveable labrador saved this orphaned critter’s life – and the two have been inseparable since. As the owner posted on Reddit, ‘my lab found an orphaned baby squirrel a few weeks ago. He put him in his mouth and brought him unharmed to us. Now they are buds.’ Cute!
Sloth hugs cat
No, really. Look! And look how happy the sloth looks too!
Girl sets herself on fire trying to twerk
There’s a lot of things I could say about this whole twerking revelation started by a particular performance at an awards ceremony… But instead, I’m just going to let you watch this woman set herself on fire. Who even tries to do that upside down and up against a door? At least try a wall!
Tweets of the week
Featuring what’s potentially the coolest selfie in all of existence, an announcement about the 2020 Olympics hosts, some of my hilarious friends, and some other ridiculous famous people thrown in for good measure. Also, some sassy bats.
Fantástico Fantástico Fantástico FantásticoFantástico Fantástico Fantástico Fantástico Fantástico Fantástico!! pic.twitter.com/OOg5HdRo3I
— Fernando Alonso (@alo_oficial) September 8, 2013
And the host of the 2020 Summer #Olympics is #Tokyo! pic.twitter.com/550jsdFMgk
— NBCOlympics (@NBCOlympics) September 7, 2013
I look like Nora fuckin Batty with my tights all baggy round my ankles and I just walked into a tree
— Becci (@BecciAxx) September 6, 2013
“I’m so glad you posted that inspirational quote. You’ve changed my life.” -nobody
— Bill Murray (@BiIIMurray) September 3, 2013
24 Life Lessons from ‘Orange Is the New Black’ http://t.co/hWWWjJDoJB
— Mashable (@mashable) September 3, 2013
I just wanna win the lottery and live in a golden palace
— ♡TEEN IDLE♡ (@joesuxx) September 3, 2013
And all the great Mad Men era Volkswagen ads. Love the Bug http://t.co/VVnf7qishQ
— Emma Kennedy (@EmmaK67) September 3, 2013
I see that Vinnie Jones has said that Britain has too many immigrants. From his permanent home in Los Angeles.
— David Aaronovitch (@DAaronovitch) September 3, 2013
When you flip a picture of bats hanging upside down they become exceptionally sassier. #truestory pic.twitter.com/CXqyvsseeF
— TheFeaturedCreature (@ftcreature) September 7, 2013
And finally…
Teens save life of woman they were checking out
According to Digital Spy, two Texan teenagers saved the life of a woman who was driving alongside them – all by admiring her aesthetically pleasing appearance.
Aaron Arias, 19, and Jamal Harris, 17, were pulled up at a red light when they noticed a sexy-looking lady in the car next to them. According to the boys, things took a more sinister turn when they made eye-contact with the woman, who then mouthed ‘help me’ to the pair. They called 911 for assistance, and it transpired that they lady in question had been taken at gunpoint after leaving her office in town earlier that day. Driver Charles Atkins Lewis Jr, 37, was arrested and charged with aggravated kidnapping, whilst the pervy pair were given hugs by the rescued woman.
So, there we have it people – proof that being sexy saves lives. Also, consider this your legitimate excuse for freely perving upon any hotties you see out and about – as you might just save their life. Have a good week everyone!
